Deep breathing

I spent today getting my semester planned out, and I’m officially overwhelmed and it doesn’t start until next week. I had a fleeting moment where I thought I was on top of everything. Then I realized that I am completely NOT on top of anything. I’m actually the complete opposite of on top of things; I feel entirely behind on everything. I have what feels like weeks worth of planning and reading and studying to do, and roughly 4 days to do it.

I’m honestly really excited for the semester, and I feel as though I’m making it worse than it really is. I’m taking management 2, anatomy/pathology 2, thanatology 2, embalming 1, law 1, and restorative art 1. I feel like once the semester finally starts I’ll be able to get my rhythm down. Which days to study for certain subjects, that sort of thing. Right now it just feels like I need to do all of it, at the same time.

I had a doctors appointment during the last semester where they told me (for the first time in my life) that my blood pressure was a little high. It’s always been low. So low, in fact, that I’ve been asked about being dizzy when I stand up, or if I commonly pass out. Before my knee surgery when I was 16, they were surprised about how low it was and wondered if I was nervous (I said a little). But suddenly I was told, “it’s a little higher than normal”.

I came home, a little confused still. Why is it high? What could be causing that? Henry says, “um, this semester? You haven’t been calm since August.” It was true. This semester was the first time in my life that I have actually been so stressed out, it affected my health (slightly).

We had our finals on December 10th and have been on a 7 week break. I finally felt like I was getting proper sleep and eating better again. I would guess if I were to go back to the doctor and checked my blood pressure after tonight that they’d say, “hmm, it’s a little higher than normal”, and I would think just wait.

*deep breath in…….and out*

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