So I’m on a little bit of a break between exams, and I thought I’d come write down some thoughts. I have taken 7 exams in the last 10 days (3 more to go!), and I just need to give myself a shout out here. 4 exams and 1 final last week, 5 finals this week. I thought this semester was going to be impossible, but somehow I managed to make it through, almost in better spirits than I did last semester (however that works out!). I took my Thanatology 2 final this morning, so I’m officially done with Thano and I’ll never have to take it again (unless I failed, which I’m pretty sure I didn’t). In a couple hours, I have my embalming 1 lecture final. I’m not that worried about this one either, I’ve done pretty well on the tests so far, so I think I’ll be good.
Tomorrow I have my anatomy/pathology 2 final, which I’m not excited for, but I only need to score a 68/200 to pass the class. Right now I’m maintaining a B, so I’m hoping to keep it that way. Friday is my last final of this long semester, and restorative art seems to be the one that I understand the most and hate being tested on the most. I tend to screw up because it’s a lot of the same worded questions (because honestly, you can only ask nose and ear measurements so many times before it’s just a blur), and his tests end up simpler and yet more complicated every time. Once that’s over (probably 8:30ish Friday morning), I’ll be on SUMMER VACATION!
…for 2 weeks. Then summer semester kicks in and I’m NOT excited about that. 5 weeks of Ceremonies (with field trips and it actually sounds interesting) and 7 weeks of Mort Law 2 *dies*. I’m so nervous for that class. It’s going to be a long and intense 7 weeks. It’s with a teacher I don’t particularly like, but it’s a different teacher from Law 1, so I’m hoping she’ll actually be able to teach me something. Once Law is over at the beginning of August, I’ll have another 3 weeks before Fall semester begins MY LAST SEMESTER! (as long as I pass summer)
Did I mention I’m nervous for summer Law? Yeah, I’m nervous. I’ve had multiple people say, “you’ll be fine!” and “I have faith in you” or “you’re worrying too much”. HELL YEAH I’M WORRYING! It’s accelerated law language and statutes and presentations and things that I DON’T FULLY UNDERSTAND! And of course, it builds on the previous semester, which I didn’t feel I was fully taught anything, so yeah, I’m worried. PLUS! Once I’ve completed this summer Law class, I’ll be eligible to take my funeral directors exam and be a full fledged LICENSED funeral director (I’m actually super excited about that).
Since this post was sort of a downer and I can feel the stress dripping off it, I’d like to take a moment and point out that I may just pass this semester with all B’s! I got 2 C’s and 2 B’s last semester, but I think I might just pull out 6 B’s this semester. I’m proud of myself for that, it wasn’t easy and no matter how many times people say “well duh” or “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you” (which people have), I just have to point out that this IS NOT an easy program and expecting my typical outcome of A’s and B’s is should NOT be expected. Granted, this is the most work I’ve put into school in a long time, but even when I was taking AP and honor classes in high school and for my A.A., I still didn’t feel as stressed out as I am with this program.
I’m definitely going to be proud of myself when I’m done, and fuck the people saying walking in graduation for this isn’t worth it, because it’s worth it to me. I worked damn hard, and I’m going to rock my black and red and accept that degree with pride. It’s not for the program’s sake at this point or school pride (because it kind of was at the beginning, but I’m forgetting why). It’s for my sake. I did this. Just because my degree isn’t from a University, doesn’t mean I didn’t accomplish something huge and don’t deserve a cap and gown.
Wow, OK. Rant over. I think that’s residual stress from studying and finals coming out.
SO. CLOSE. TO. THE. END.