The summer so far.

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I thought about posting after a week into the summer semester, but I decided to hold off until there was more to say, and I’m glad I did. After the first week (I just started week 3), I had high hopes. My teachers who I didn’t like in previous semesters were actually tolerable. My first 2 test we’re passing (one more than the other). I had this idea that “this isn’t going to be that hard!”.

By the time we got into week 2, it set in. Maybe because my 3rd class began in the 2nd week (for whatever reason it decided to be a week behind everything else), or maybe because we really started getting into the nitty gritty of Law 2 and the fast paced ceremonies classes, but either way, I’m feeling the overwhelming feelings that is mortuary school. I do realize that summer semesters for any class is sped up and that you’re required to do and know a lot more than the normal 16 weeks. In 16 weeks, you can spread out the load and make it more manageable. Today I felt the full force of “OH MY GOD, I’M SO BEHIND!”.

It might be because I had a 5 day weekend (CFDA convention that I couldn’t attend *sad face*), or maybe it’s because I was so used to the spread out timeline of 16 weeks, but today I had to make sure I’m going at this semester in full force. I have yet to actually study Law 2 outside of class (that’s going to bite me in the ass). I put off studying for tests until the night before, thinking I can cram it like I did last semester. Today I realized the research paper I have in one class is due in a week. The online class I’m taking had 4 chapters to read, 4 chapters of homework, and 3 discussion boards due, and I only started on them yesterday. We spent 3 hours going over group presentation stuff that we have due in 2 weeks, but need to get preliminary things turned into the teacher in 1 week.

All of those things made me get that tightness in my chest that signifies it’s coming down to the wire, and I’m not prepared. I’m normally a little overly confident on my ability to cram and write a research paper in a day or have a presentation down and ready to go with little to no effort. This semester has me working with a group of 10 trying to make a Roman Catholic mock funeral service happen and I have to provide insight. It makes me nervous because I usually feel like I had some grasp on what I’m talking about or presenting and can work my way through it. This semester, I have no idea about law terminology, I suck at remembering religion things, and my online class has me nervous that I suddenly don’t know how to do general education classes.

By week 2, I a little more disdain for one of my teachers like I had previously in earlier semesters. This week, since it was a short week, I feel is my catch up week. I did as much as I could for my online class so there isn’t as much to do tomorrow. I’m going on a field trip to a casket company, so I’m pretty sure that’s not going to be a long day, which gives me more time. I’m also getting part of an interview for my research paper done this weekend and going to have to start getting Roman Catholic belief’s jotted down for my group so I can get that going. Once I break it down for myself like this, it’s making it seems more manageable.

Venting my frustrations to people just has them saying, “you got this” with no substance, but maybe the substance is this “I’ll make it work” mindset I’ve grown accustomed to resorting to throughout mortuary school. It’s still kind of blowing me away how quickly this year is going by. On Monday, it’s the 4th of July, and I need to make sure to get things done and ready to go before Monday. Once we’re through the 4th, we’re about halfway through this semester, and I’m that much closer to the fall semester (the LAST semester! can’t emphasize that enough).

I read an article today from a very well known person in the funeral industry, talking about how she wants us to get into the field only if we’re good and ready to do this. Not in a “I think I can” but more like a “if you have to ask if you can do it, you already can’t”. I try not to doubt myself. I never really believed that I couldn’t do it. I only question myself when it gets hard, and then I come through on the other side and say “Wow! That’s over!”, and move on.

I think I’m more prepared each and every day. I’m actually planning on looking for a job as soon as this summer semester’s complete. Hopefully that gets my foot in the door before I graduate and jumps starts that idea of MONEY and MOVING that I so desperately need. One can only hope.

Summer time!

Stilllife on the beach with sunglasses cocktail in coconut and flip flop

“SCHOOL’S OUT FOR [only two weeks of] SUMMER!” -Alice Cooper

I think that was the quote, right? 2 weeks of summer and then it’s back to the grind? Or was it forever? All I know is, I got too excited to come back on here and write about my final final (which I took over a week ago). I wrapped up that week with easier and easier finals and then that Friday, I walked out class with a skip in my step. More like a jump to my step. I was too damn excited to finally feel like I had NOTHING to do. Grades are posted and it’s officially summer:Screen Shot 2016-06-06 at 11.43.35 PM

My grades ladies and gentlemen! WOO! Straight B’s! That’s an accomplishment if I do say so myself! This program is intense (have I not mentioned that enough on ALL of the rest of my posts?!), so getting B’s has me flyin high y’all! And since I’m done and grades are in, may I just reiterate, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!

It’s actually still kind of weird to think that I don’t have any studying to do…yet. ‘Cause then I realize, OH! RIGHT! I have class in less than a week and I need to start preparing for it nowish. I did get on it and buy my books and get things in order in that sense. But I have yet to actually sit down and read things. I tried looking at the newly opened link for the Law 2 class and decided it was too much of a headache and haven’t been on it since.

But this post isn’t about the stress of summer setting in (that’ll probably be a week into the summer semester), it’s about how nice it feels to be more than halfway done with school! That’s right. I have 7 weeks of summer, 16 of fall and then I’m DONE! I’ll be a graduate in December and a licensed funeral director come July (apparently!?).

Let’s just talk about that for a second. I always thought that when they talked about becoming licensed before graduation, I thought that meant that sometime in the fall semester I’d be taking the test and becoming licensed. Apparently “before you graduate” means “before you’re done with the summer semester”. That’s a crazy concept to me. I’ll be done with the licensing but then still have another semester of classes.

We’re also “strongly encouraged” to be working in the field before we finish school as well, and that sounds nice, but I know my work ethic. There’s no way I can work and do a full semester of school. Other people may be able to, but that’s not how I roll. I’ll burn out so fast and probably not be able to pass classes, and that would SUCK.

So since my “summer” is coming to a close soon, I’m gonna live it up. Went on a hike yesterday, going to a museum tomorrow. The end of the summer session has another 3 weeks before the fall semester, and I’m hoping to have camping trip squeezed in there. Maybe I should be looking for a job or trying to make shit happen in that time, but I think I know myself: if I can get a break, I’m gonna take a BREAK! Now, I’m gonna soak in this last week ☮✌ out y’all.